I am 29 years old, and I have a 6-year-old nephew who wets the bed. I really feel bad for him cause he can't go anywhere to stay all night because he's embarrassed. When he goes to his grandparents' house, they make him wear GoodNites to keep from ruining the bed. His mother thinks the GoodNites are making him lazy and not getting up in the middle of the night to go pee. I understand his problem ‘cause I was 15 years old before I stopped wetting the bed, and it was ‘cause my bladder hadn't grown enough. My parents were just like my nephew's. They embarrassed me, spanked me, etc. Now I am a real light sleeper and rarely get a good night's sleep. How can I get my nephew's parents to understand?
Answer
Many, many children have this problem, and it's really not their fault. They are simply heavy sleepers, and they don't feel the urge to urinate while they are sleeping. His parents should probably speak to a urologist who can help them understand this and perhaps give them some ways to help him become aroused.
I'd suggest that they immediately do two things that will probably help. First, his drinking must be limited about two hours before bedtime – no more fluids. They have to stick to this as well as possible, because if they let him drink and then get mad at him for wetting, it's confusing and unfair to him.
Next, they should take him to the bathroom every night, as late as possible before they go to bed. This should also help him not to have accidents. I think the GoodNites are a good idea, and now they are especially made for older kids to look like underwear, so they can even have a sleepover at a friend's house. They will certainly not make him lazy and will help him feel better until his body changes.
Parents who embarrass or spank their children because they wet the bed are in real need of help because they are damaging their child more than anything else could. If this is how your nephew's parents are behaving toward him they need to hear that their behavior is bordering on child abuse, and they should seek professional help immediately. You should certainly tell them this. If you are truly worried about how your nephew is being treated, you may need to speak to the authorities yourself.
Susan Bartell
Psychologist
The information on this Web site is designed for education purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for informed medical advice or care. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illness without consulting your pediatrician or family doctor. Please consult a doctor with any questions or concerns you might have regarding your or your child's condition.
