Tips from Authors of Dirty Little Secrets From Otherwise Perfect Moms, Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile
Weekly Tips
Week 4 – Just say NO!
No is a word that many of us could use some practice saying. We say yes to everything because we think we should be able to 'do it all.' Remember that you can't be everything to everybody. Saying yes to everything means being overbooked, overstressed and anxious. Don't feel guilty about saying no - and don't feel you need an excuse. Saying no can be an empowering word.
Week 3 – Guilt kinda rules our world.
We feel guilty for letting our kids watch tv, or feeding them with junk food, or not keeping the house spotless. Make sure you're focusing on the big things, and let go of some of the smaller things that make you crazy. Will I care, or will my child care, about this issue 1 year from now? 5 years from now? Ask yourself how does this issue fit into the overall value structure of our family?
Week 2 – Expectations: The mother of all problems.
Know that as a modern mom, you are most likely struggling with overblown expectations. Try to let go of the image of a perfect mom. Take a look at your list of 'shoulds' and prioritize them. For some people, keeping the house clean or putting dinner on the table is mission critical; for others, letting go of that pressure allows time to work out or doing something higher on their priority list.
Week 1 - How does SHE do it all?
It's so easy to look around and compare yourself to other mothers, which can instantly make you feel like you're not doing a good enough job. Remember that ALL moms feel the same pressure you do to be a 'good mom,' no matter how 'perfect' they seem to be. Once you learn to make conscious choices for you and your family, and truly make peace with those choices, you will no longer feel the need to judge yourself or be swayed by others.
More Tips: Smooth Childhood Speed Bumps with GoodNites® Brand
Every family struggles with childhood speed bumps – it’s important to know that you’re not alone. Dealing with homework stress, friendships and bedwetting hurdles can curb a child’s confidence. Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile, authors of Dirty Little Secrets From Otherwise Perfect Moms and moms just like you, offer tips on how to deal with these common parenting issues. Many moms today put pressure on themselves to be “perfect moms” – when in fact we’re all doing the best job we can. If we can get a handle on some of these issues, we can begin to love motherhood as much as we love our kids.
Homework Meltdown
Homework can be a headache not only for the child, but for the parent as well. Homework overload at a young age is becoming commonplace. In fact, 32 percent of parents say getting their kids to finish up homework is one of their top nighttime stressors.1 Here’s some advice on how to overcome “homework meltdown” for kids and parents:
- Communication is Key
Be sure to communicate effectively by developing a relationship with your child’s teacher. Don’t wait until parent teacher conferences to get updates on your child’s progress. Find out when your child has a large assignment due, such as a book report, and make sure they are not waiting until the last minute to complete it.
- Set Up A Good Homework Routine
It’s really important to set expectations upfront with your child and the family about how homework fits into the daily routine. Will homework get done right after school? Right after dinner? Also, make sure your child has a quiet, clean environment to do their homework, with little distraction. This will allow your child to complete their homework more efficiently and they’ll have time for other things after school, like going outside to play! Keep your kids in a specific area for homework time so they have a daily routine and so parents don’t feel like the entire house has been taken over with school work.
- Rewards for Progress
If your child has trouble sitting down after school to do homework, try rewarding him or her. Once they complete one assignment, allow them to have a healthy snack or just relax for a bit. Or, offer a weekend reward after the child has fulfilled the goals over the course of a week.
Friendship 101
Learning the dynamics of friendship at an early age can be both challenging and rewarding. Although it’s a part of life, not being invited to a pool party can be an event your child may remember forever. You can ace “Friendship 101” if you follow these tips:
- In the Loop
Always try to stay on top of what is going on in your child’s social sphere. Encourage your child to talk about the social problems they are experiencing, without seeming too pushy or nosy. Bring it up in natural conversation.
- What Goes Around Comes Around
Teaching your child to put themselves in another person’s shoes is a huge life lesson. Whether they’re being a bossy leader or are feeling left out, use the scenario as a chance to teach them to treat people as they would want to be treated. Learning empathy will serve them well in the long run.
- Parent Alliances
Get to know the parents of your child’s friends. You’ll find out what is happening with other kids their age, and you may get to know someone who is facing parenting problems similar to yours. It may also make it easier to address a problem your children may be having together.
Bedtime Basics
As many as three children in a typical classroom wet the bed - remember that it’s not a child’s fault, and it’s not something he or she can control. As parents it can be difficult to watch your child struggle, but it’s important to remember that there’s potentially no controllable cause for bedwetting, so your child shouldn’t feel guilty. Bedwetting can be difficult for all involved, so keep the following tips in mind to help your child overcome it:
- Provide Encouragement
Let your child know that this is just a common phase in childhood and it will soon pass. Make sure to get informed about bedwetting and eliminate the negative feelings children might have by coaching your kids in a way that will elevate their confidence.
- Not Alone
It’s important that you and your child know you’re not alone; bedwetting prevents 20 percent of kids from sleeping through the night. It’s normal for children who experience bedwetting to feel a little embarrassed or ashamed. To hear about other families’ experiences with bedwetting and for bedwetting facts and advice, visit our Sharing Space.
- Talk to Experts
It may help to consult your family physician if the situation does not get better. In the meantime, try using GoodNites® Sleep Boxers and Sleep Shorts or GoodNites® Underpants to help avoid embarrassing situations associated with bedwetting until they outgrow it.
The most important thing to remember is that no parent or child is perfect. And you can feel good about being a supportive parent while you help your child overcome these common childhood speed bumps.
